Thursday, September 12, 2013

Baby Blues

I give major kudos to stay at home moms with more than one kid under the age of 3. 
I have a pretty independent and self sufficient 4 year old and a newborn, and I still feel overwhelmed on most days.
I can't imagine chasing a toddler around AND caring for a newborn at the same time.

I would probably end up in a mental hospital.

This week can be summed up in two photos...
 Cranky baby that wants me to feed him every hour...hour and a half. 

I can't imagine doing this without my trusty Keurig.

I've mentioned before that with my firstborn, I got the baby blues really bad.
When the baby blues never went away, I sought treatment, and was diagnosed with post partum depression.
I never had thoughts of harming my baby.
I just didn't want to have much to do with her.
I felt like a prisoner to this tiny little human, and I never wanted to leave my house. 
I fed her and changed her out of necessity, and I had a hard time bonding with her. 
From the outside looking in (and based on my Facebook page), my life probably looked perfect.
I had a beautiful little girl that I dressed up like my doll in a million adorable outfits that were neatly accessorized with giant flowers and bows adorned on her sweet bald head.
But on the inside, I was struggling, and I put my husband through hell during that time.
Did I mention that in the midst of all this emotional chaos, my husband deployed to Afghanistan?!
Let me also add some more salt to that wound and add that I was on recruiting duty.
(If you've ever known anyone on recruiting duty, you can imagine what I was going through)
That probably didn't help my situation any. 

There is a happy ending to this story though.
I got treated for my PPD, my husband made it home safely from Afghanistan, and the experiences that I've had with my daughter are ones that I wouldn't trade for the world. 

These are some of my favorite "mommy and me" photos taken during my husband's deployment.

Yesterday was the toughest day so far.
I started feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and inadequate.
The baby was cranky and fussy all day.
My 4yo had gymnastics, and I forgot to bring the diaper bag with us.
I spent an hour at the gymnastics class hoping and praying that baby wouldn't wake up (in which he did).
I spent the last 30 minutes of her hour long class trying to calm down my hysterical newborn.
I tried to nurse him, but he did not enjoy the nursing cover which made him even fussier.
*Seriously...nursing out and about is the hardest thing for me! I just don't feel comfortable nursing in public!*
It didn't help that my hubby worked late yesterday. 
It was one of those days that when he got home, the baby and the 4 yo was passed off to him like a football, and I just wanted to hang up my "mama pants" for a little bit. 

And of course, as soon as daddy comes home, baby becomes an angel (the total opposite of the first photos you saw on this post).

Thank God I have an amazing husband who was more than willing to take over after working a long day, and give me some "wine time".

So, today I woke up with the attitude that it's a new day (go ahead and sing it..."it's a new dawn, a new day..").
No matter how hard or long the days may seem, I have to remember that I am raising God's children.
He chose me to mother these two precious souls.
So I take on another day with the crazy challenges that come with parenting.
Head on.
With no little complaints. :-)

Just praying that the PPD doesn't come back this time to kick my butt.

Oh, and just a random photo that I took last night of my daughter.
She makes me smile :)


  1. You were on recruiting with a newborn!!! When I had Ace my husband was on recruiting, I never saw him. And his recruiter phone would ring at all hours with applicants asking random questions!!! Ugh. I a glad that you were able to overcome your PPD with your daughter. Hopefully it won't come back around. Your little man is too cute for words...just breathe innnnn and ooooout! haha.

  2. You can do this, Mama!! I remember the clingy/fussy early days with L. The long nights of no sleep ... early mornings ... and then having to throw in a 2 year old on top of that! She was a great help, but it was still a lot of work, and for a little while, I'm sure she was bored because I just didn't think I could handle taking both of them out of the house by myself. Enjoy your wine -- and your helper husband! Sounds like he was there exactly when you needed him!!

  3. You are an amazing momma! I hope today was better for you.. (:

  4. Prayers and hugs for you.
    I'd like to offer you the normal "this too shall pass" and "you'll get through it" sentiments, but I HATED it when we people said that to me.
    I just wanted to be able to vent every once in awhile.

  5. PS, I think one of the hardest parts for me, (maybe still is,) is all the moms that were posting how absolutely wonderful everything was and that their baby was just the sweetest most well behaved baby.
    It made me wonder if there was something wrong with me or my kids because it was so incredibly hard most of the time.
    Thank you for sharing your struggles, you are not alone.

  6. I hear ya girlfriend! It is a tough transition. I dont like to nurse in public either, and it is so hard when we are on the go.

  7. Awww, hang in there! It's hard to adjust from going from one to two. My oldest son was 3 when my second was born and although they were both great at the time, I get that feeling of being overwhelmed and having a hard time finding that balance.

  8. I have been there...PPD and all!!! And go figure he would fall asleep on Daddy as soon as he gets home! :) The difference between the first and second baby for me was knowing that all of the hard times (those days of non-stop crankiness) are all temporary. He'll be back to sweet, sleepy baby just as quickly as he turned into fussy baby!

    Semper Wifey

  9. I wish I could give you a hug!! I know it's tough adjusting to a new way of life. New baby, less sleep, less freedom. Struggling with post partum on top of everything. I'm glad your hubby is willing to jump in and take the reins after work. Take advantage of the break and do something for yourself!

  10. You are a wonderful momma! Your kids are so lucky to have you! I remember passing my firstborn off to my husband every evening when he walked in the door. And I would head outside with a beer. Trenton had horrible reflux and there was only so much screaming and spitting up I could take in one day. But we got through it. (And apparently forgot pretty fast about our rough first couple months.) ;-)

  11. Every time I travel with my kids, I always make sure to bring a stroller with me! It’s really handy. I prefer to use these compared to using infant carriers or sling bags. I find them to be uncomfortable for me and to my baby.

  12. I am a mom who take care her newborn alone after 2 months.but enjoying the time with my baby girl. :-)


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