Friday, May 9, 2014

Being a "MILSPO"

Did you know today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day?

I've always held a deep respect for military spouses.
Sure, I was a military spouse as well, but so was Nick.
I mean, at one point there were TWO Romers on active duty, and we were both spouses to each other.
And even at one point there were TWO SSgt Romers!
Nick and I used to tell each other, "Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!" every year and laugh about it to each other.
As an active duty Marine, I never really HAD to embrace "military spouse life".
I mean, sure, I went through deployments, I dealt with the field ops, the training exercises, etc. etc. etc. just like any other military spouse.
But it was different for me because I also had the perspective as an active duty Marine.
Basically, Marine Corps community came first, then the military spouse community came second.
It wasn't until I became older and formed close friendships with spouses of Marines that I worked with or that Nick worked with, that I truly understood the "spouse community".
It's through these friendships that I learned just how amazing, strong, and steadfast military spouses  really are.

After exiting my life as an active duty Marine, I was kinda thrown across country to a place where there is barely any presence of a military spouse community.
 It's living here that has made me really look back and realize how amazing the group of women that I called friends in California were, and I longed for that camaraderie again.
While I have made many good friends here in New England, none of them quite realize or can understand what I have gone through with deployments, separations, and military life.
There's not a woman here I feel comfortable showing up at their house at 10pm, unannounced with a bottle (or 2) of wine, both kids, and a chick flick because I was missing my husband and couldn't sleep.
My biggest pet peeve is when friends compare my husband's absences to their husband's business trips.
No's not the same.
He's not gone for a week here and there, or a day or two every once in a while...

I truly believe that in order for my husband to be at his best as a Marine is when his family is with him...rooting for him...cheering him his side.
That sometimes means that we all take a backseat. 
My children will have to be the "new kid" in school more times than I can count, and I probably won't have a long meaningful career while my husband serves.
This is what makes military spouses so special....and different than the average woman.

I think about my friends, and the majority of them have degrees, skills, and jobs that they were not using because of their husband's call to service.
They have bachelor's degrees, master's degrees, PHd's, they have trades...
Some of them, at one point, had full blown careers that they gave up entirely for love of their Marine.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I hear Marines (mainly single ones) say that, "spouses don't rate anything because they don't deploy, and they're not Marines."

No...spouses don't deploy, and no...spouses aren't Marines.

But as a former Marine who has deployed, and as a former Marine who has also sat back to be "the spouse", I can honestly say that being a military spouse is the most emotionally challenging, yet completely fulfilling job that I've ever done.
And for the love I have for the guy I get to call my husband, I would do it a million times over.

Just think about it....

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!
You ladies are my heroes. 


  1. Aw, you're my hero too!

    Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

  2. Back at ya!! :) I well understand being on your lonesome though. Not too many milSOs on Long Island either, at least not a community of us that would do the 10pm wine-ing. I'm looking forward to it!

    1. I know, right!! I miss the community! I can't wait to go back to a place where I can be with "my people". lol.

  3. Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day! I completely agree- one of the most emotionally challenging yet fulfilling roles there are!


    1. It's almost ironic...I have a love/hate relationship with this life, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!

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