Thursday, June 19, 2014

Running For My Soul

I totally go through waves of emotions when Nick is gone.
I go from an "I got this, no big deal" kinda attitude one day to a "Ugh, I just want my husband back, and I'm sad and lonely" kinda attitude the next day.
Although I'm in a good groove with my kids and life, it still sucks when I have time to think and realize how much more fun the summertime would be with Nick around.
It's my favorite season, and for the last 4 years, I haven't gotten to spend it with my better half.
I really am over the moon excited that we will spend NEXT summer...THE ENTIRE SUMMER...together.
I catch myself daydreaming about next summer more than I probably should sometimes.

One thing I tend to really focus a lot of my energy on when Nick is gone is fitness.
Nick and I are both pretty big into working out and staying in shape, but for whatever reason, when he leaves, I get a little crazy into my work out sessions.
One thing I do a lot more of when he's gone is solo runs...and by "solo", I mean running without a running partner....but with two kids in a jogging stroller.

I've always considered myself a "runner".
I am not an ultra distance runner.
The average distance I run in one run is about 4-8 miles, and I average about 20 miles a week at roughly a 730-830 pace.
My days of running 12+ miles in one run are over thanks to my knee and hip problems (Thanks Marine Corps!).
When I gear up to run, I usually take anti inflammatory meds, pain killers, and KT taping the crap out of my knee.
Even then, towards about mile 5, my chronic knee condition will start to slowly flare up.
But there's something about going on a run that is so good for my soul, that the pain is worth pushing through.
It's healing to my soul...
I leave all my worries on the pavement...
I leave all my negative thoughts and emotions on the pavement...
For those moments when I'm running, life kinda stops, and it's just me and God.

And some just run to enjoy nature...not worry about your pace....or time....
Those are the best runs ever.
An 1132 pace is pretty dang slow for my level, but running in the humidity yesterday with my headphones on, and my kids sleeping soundly in the jogging stroller was the best hour and 15 minutes of solitude I had all day.

And those moments of solitude made me a better mother yesterday to these hellions angels.

"Wake up big sister!"

"Fine, I'm just going to cuddle with you then..."

Yeah, he's playing with my dirty flip flop, and no I didn't stop him.
He was so content just throwing them up in the air and squealing with excitement.
Second child syndrome...

And of course while we were at big sister's gymnastics class, he wanted to put every single toy from the play area into his mouth and crawl around like a dog.
No telling where that puzzle piece has been...
Second child syndrome...

My daughter had her very last Spring gymnastics class yesterday, and starting next week, she'll start summer private lessons!

Can this week be over already? 


  1. You'll get through it. I know it sucks :(

  2. I understand the feeling. I miss Tom today since it's my birthday. He was gone last year too. Boo.

  3. The cuddling pics are perfection.


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