Monday, December 1, 2014

I Haven't Blogged

It's been a while since I've blogged. 
Last week was so busy with things going on at Dannika's school, and with Thanksgiving.
I had a few posts planned over the break, but decided not to post them.

The day after Thanksgiving, our family received the news from our relatives in England that Nick's mom had passed away.
She had been dealing with health issues for a long time now, and her health issues was one of the biggest reasons why she left Alabama to move to England.
The amount of sadness our family has felt is something can't be put into words.
I always thought as a Marine that I could handle death better than anyone.
After all, I have been dealing with death my entire time in the Marine Corps.
In reality, I think Marines handle death the worst.
But this blog isn't about me...
It isn't about MY Thanksgiving...
It's not about my kids...

Tonight, I write about a remarkable woman named Sandra Jane.
If you don't know the history of how Nick and I got married....I'll give you a really quick (super short) version).
We eloped in Vegas without telling anyone.
I remember the night we told Nick's mum (cause that's what British people call their moms).
We were sitting in his jacked up Chevy Silverado after a date night, and it was on the phone when we broke the news to her.
I remember hearing her voice on his cell phone...
"You did WHAT?!?! Nicholas!!!!!!!"
I spoke to her on the phone that night as Nick's new wife, and remember thinking, "wow...this woman is so nice considering I just married her oldest son without telling her or meeting her first..."
That was my first encounter with my "mum" as I grew to call her.
I fell in love with her instantly, and (I hope) she loved me as much as I loved her.
I could call her anytime to chit chat or for advice, and she would always lend her ear to me.
I could complain to her about anything, and I never once....felt judged or ashamed.
I told her some of my darkest, shameful secrets, and she never once made me feel less than what I was.
I would say that if mum had one fault, it was that she loved too hard....if that's even possible.
She saw the good in everyone...even after they had betrayed or hurt her...she still believed that there was good in them.
It's a lesson I learned from her.....
There is no greater gift than love...
She loved when most people felt it would be impossible to.
She loved fiercely...
I hope that one day my kids will learn to love as fierce as she did.

I brag so much about my husband, and I often get compliments from my friends and family about what an amazing man he is.
I get told all the time that "men like him are few and far between".
Sometimes in makes me mad because I feel like I'm not good enough for him.
But you know...Nick is the man that he is because of Sandy.
She raised him to be a good, moral, decent, and honest man...
She oftentimes raised him alone (she was an air force wife)...
As a Marine wife, I am in awe at what she did with Nick.
I oftentimes find myself frustrated and alone in this life....the deployments...the training.
I used to call mum often when Nick was deployed to Afghanistan to just vent.
She sat quietly on the phone while I cried while adding in the occasional, "I know, dear."
She always knew what to say to me.
I remember on night while Nick was in Afghanistan when I called her because I was so fed up with this life...I was so lonely...and I was tired of being a "single parent".
The only thing she told me was...
"I am so proud of you. You're a Marine, and Marines don't give up and let something like this get them down."
Whenever I was sad or feeling sorry for myself...she always pulled the "YOU'RE A MARINE!" card.
Gosh, I hated that, but man was she right...

I sit here and write this with tears running down my face, and I can't help but think about how much I miss her already.
I am selfish to want her back, because she deserved a life so much better than what she was handed here on earth.
She deserves to be with our Creator in heaven where the burdens of human life are no longer a burden.

I just hope that one day, my kids will love as fiercely as she did.
I hope that I can love as fiercely as she did.
I pray that she is with me when I go through my difficult times with Dannika and Mattis...

So with that...
Rest in peace, mum.
You deserve your new life in heaven with our great Lord and Savior.

She hated having her picture taken, but because I'm a picture taking nazi (as some would call me, I managed to get some good ones of her).

This is when she came out the California to watch Dannika so that Nick and I could attend the Marine Corps ball in Vegas.
We took her to the Cheesecake Factory because it was her favorite restaurant.

She spoiled the hell out of Dannika.
Dannika wasn't even one yet, and I remember catching her sneaking starbucks whipped cream from her frappucino into Dannika's mouth.
When she got caught, her response was, "my grandbaby loves it, so I'm gonna give it to her!"

So beautiful....and look at Nick with his blonde hair!!

This is Dannika helping her bake in Alabama when we went out to visit her.

She pinned on Nick to SSgt.
I'm so glad that she got to be a part of this moment in Nick's life!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Love fiercely...


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband lost his mom earlier this year, and it's been really rough. Hang in there - you have some sweet memories to hold onto!

  2. Beautiful piece of writing ..thankyou for sharing and making a hard day a little more joyful..x god bless.xx luv Stacey in uk xx

  3. I am so sorry to hear this! But what a sweet post to dedicate to her. Losing my mother in law earlier this year was the hardest thing. I hope Nick is doing well, and all of you!

  4. RIP Mum! She sounds like an extraordinary woman, and I can't believe she was so nice to you when y'all eloped without even meeting her first! We had met each other's families when we eloped and some still freaked, haha. {{HUGS}}

  5. I'm so sorry for y'all loss. She sounds like a remarkable woman.


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